Waking moments

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Today, my friend started a cool thing. She started a facebook group of women whose goal it is to give God the first fruits of our morning and to keep each other accountable about it. This Christmas season, I'm seeing through things with new mother eyes. Sam doesn't really understand things yet. He likes pulling the ornaments off of our Christmas tree, but he doesn't know why it's there. We light more candles, we have special songs, we have more things on surfaces, but he doesn't know why.

I love the Christmas season. I love that it's Jesus' birthday, and I tear up at so many songs now that I didn't before, but I also love the general cheer of the season. I want to make sure that I don't get caught up in sharing that with Sam and miss any opportunity to share with him the real reason of the season (in the future). Thanks to Sam's grandmothers, we have some awesome books to read to him next year and a nativity to play with. 

This season, I tried to plan gifts a little early, to get safe decorations up, to play the music when we could, etc. to make the most of each day. Of course, I would also be determined to be nice and caring and next thing I know, I gave a snotty tone to my husband, got stressed over something small, or some other thing. I can't do all this on my own, but I try too often. Even knowing and accepting things don't have to be perfect, too often I can't help by try. Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing, and I wish I would stop and pray and ask for help, but no, I jump in impulsively. And I think I need a change. A reminder on how to focus and where to focus. Thinking about making the first 15 minutes of my day all for God is encouraging. And challenging. But mostly exciting.

So this year, from the One who gave the best gift, I'm going to try to give back my waking moments. :)

Faith

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So, another family reunion at the lake trip and a girls trip behind me, I've been so thankful for the people we've seen and the friendships that we have.  Sam got to spend time with his great grandparents through J's mom's side. I got some refreshing time with two other beautiful women. The trips have been so different that it's hasn't been too overwhelming, but it is making time fly by faster. 

Last night we talked about encouraging in Bible Study. Just a few positive words can change a mood, change a day. It was mentioned that it's important to take the opportunity to encourage other if you become aware of words that would do it. And our author noted that the most important encouragement is that which encourages our Faith :)

Back

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We got back from a trip to Denver, CO to visit my aunt and uncle in addition to the sights. Sam did better than we expected on the flights, often taking naps. We had a great time, and it was fun to see Sam interacting in different settings and with more family. The sky is so big out there, and the mountain views were beautiful. It was amazing to think about all that God has created. We came back to changed leaves and fall temperatures. I so love traveling with my little family :)

2013 Books: Part 2

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Divergent by Veronica Roth (Easy to read, recommend)
Katherine by Anya Seton
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones  by Cassandra Clare
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini (Recommend)
The Mortal Instruments: City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin
Far Far Away by Tom McNeal (slow parts but good ending)
When Will There Be Good News? by Kate Atkinson (some confusing parts, but a good read overall)
Unremembered by Jessica Brody (at times seemed to be trying too hard, but I still got sucked in)
The Mortal Instruments: City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
Visitation Street by Ivy Pochoda (ending up being better than it seemed at first, but still probably wouldn't recommend)
Horns by Joe Hill
The Mortal Instruments: City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
Legend by Marie Lu (fun like Hunger Games)
The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
Night Film by Marisha Pessl
Crushed by Sara Shepard
Prodigy by Marie Lu
Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
Ali's Pretty Little Lies by Sara Shepard
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp (I'd say "pass")
Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
The Mortal Instruments: City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare (obviously read a lot of hers)
Abandon by Meg Cabot
Underworld by Meg Cabot
Awaken by Meg Cabot (the final book of the trilogy)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling (read aloud to Sam)


24 from before, 29 now, 53 for the year. I would have waited for the end of the year to share, but part of me can't believe how many books I've read, seeing as how Sam has been around for 8 and a half months.

Fun

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Yesterday, J and I went on an adventure. We picked up Sam's birth certificate. And we had to go all around downtown - 3 different places. But it was fun, even though it was a little crazy. We found parking, we picked up Sam each time, we asked questions (mostly J). 

Today, Sam and I got to go to a playdate, and Sam had so much fun he never slept. 

Most of the time, I'm really not sure what I'm doing. But, we're having fun.

I don't want to take things too seriously (don't get me wrong, some serious is good). I'm not in control. I'm going to do the best I can, I'm going to make mistakes, and have, but I'm going to keep asking forgiveness and try to learn for the next time. I'm going to smile and try to remember to love. I want to remember that saying - to be kind because everyone we meet is fighting a hard battle.

Monday memory

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I can remember a time when I was younger that we finished watching a movie as a family and looking back, I could see that my mom had been and maybe still was crying. In my child mind, tears mean sad or hurt and it was a happy ending. When I asked my mom about it, she told me that I'd understand someday, and more unbelievably, that I would cry like that myself one day.

In college, I remember thinking back on that, and ha, I rarely teared up at the end of movies. 

Now however, it's often :) A good ending, maybe not even an ending, a touching commercial, a sweet story, just watching Sam play and smile sometimes. Life changes us.

Celebration

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Last night we celebrated my mom's birthday, complete with apple cake, carving pumpkins and a keepsake pumpkin with all the grandsons' footprints. My mom does such a great job showering all of her kids and kids-in-law and grandsons with love. It was a sweet celebration. 

 J and I are heading out of town for my friend's wedding. It'll  be a date for us with J's parents watching Sam for us.  We are excited to introduce our dogs to their puppy cousin and to share Sam's crawling with J's family. 

It's a fun and a busy time, and I'm really working at keeping current with Bible reading time (I did so bad for a while), communicating with my husband without running in a crazy direction :), and enjoying these little moments. J and I have new phones on the way that'll help us capture some of that's going on.

Memory verse: 

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Swimming

 

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In the last week, Sam's poops have turned human (read: stinky and thick), he has started "crawling" (hasn't completely figured the leg/knee part out yet), and dropping things from his stroller, the couch, and highchair, which has made my day job just a little tougher. Being a mom is kinda crazy sometimes haha.

We've had some fun cool weather and it's been fun to get out the little jackets and feel the leaves crunch. And Sam is getting the start of a big front tooth. Just keep swimming.

Prone to wander

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In my quest to figure out how to be a good mom, who is still social, and is learning to cook regularly, which means learning to run errands and grocery shop regularly, and still keep the house kinda clean with little crafts ever rare now and then, and still look a little put together, and maybe work out a little, but making sure Sam is getting the attention he needs, while still reading some of the books I put on hold at the library, and being a good dog-mom with walks and attention, and still be a good wife... well I have to over and over and over get myself to put God back in the center. Prone to wander... here's my heart.

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Stepping into Fall

 

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Happy Fall!! What a beautiful season right?

About a two weeks ago, I wore my fall booties to church, stepped out of the car, and realized I was missing a heel! I actually wear a lot of heels (or did, pre-Sam), and this was the first time this had actually happened to me. Not only was I sad because the season for them just started, but they were both practical enough for mom-life while letting me wear a little heel again. After looking into options, I heard about Shoe-Goo, and it works! These booties are back in business. :) (Just a tip if anyone else experiences this. I just followed directions. yay!)

Recent Highlights

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Met Chris and Brianna's brand new puppy, Winston
J's first trip to Cheesecake Factory (followed by him patiently letting me walk/shop the mall)
I picked up my work laptop and officially work part time from home
Sam is officially in the crib in his room (it was a lot of transitions)
Soccer and Frisbee at the park
It's officially Fall!
We celebrated my dad's birthday with breakfast and a hike
I'm nearly done with my first weekend without J since we've had Sam (I think?)

So much to celebrate! We want to praise God for these fun moments although we know His will is good, acceptable and perfect, no matter what is going on. Focusing on the positive helps me :)

Mesothelioma Awareness Day

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Hey all, I'm not sure if you knew this, but today is Mesothelioma Awareness Day! 

In order to celebrate, I'd like to share Heather's story with you. She is using her personal story to help raise awareness of this little known cancer, and to provide a sense of hope for others facing life’s difficult challenges.

I can't imagine going through what she went through, and what a great example of strength she is!!

To give you a preview: Heather is a wife, mother, and a mesothelioma survivor. When her daughter was 3 ½ months old, she was diagnosed with this rare and deadly cancer, and given 15 months to live. Despite her grim prognosis, she knew that she needed to beat the odds for her newborn daughter, Lily. It’s been 7 years now and she feels that it’s her duty to pay it forward by inspiring others.

Here is the link: www.mesothelioma.com/heather/awareness/

Her story is really inspiring, whether you have this or something similar, know someone, or have never heard of this cancer. Please go to her link to get inspired, give support, and celebrate today. 

Thanks!!

Monday Mom Moments

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Today we got a Ergo baby carrier. It's one of the kinds that have a strap that goes around your hips to better distribute the baby's weight. We found a red one half off and ordered it so we can carry Sam on our back (particularly for our Denver trip in October). Not only am I excited about that, but it was fun that Sam and I were already outside when the package came. Taking advantage of the fall-ish weather and trying to keep quiet so J can sleep (he's on night shifts), I set up a picnic blanket for Sam with toys while I moved around some of Liriope in our front yard patch. 

Once we got our package, I broke into it, and actually read some of the manual (I'm not good with directions usually), and let Sam play with box. It provided nearly an hour of entertainment for Sam, and I had about twenty neighbors drive or walk by, many smiling at Sam and waving.

Another mom moment from today - Sam and I were hanging out on the guest bed next to his room. We've gotten in the habit of reading to him in there if he's not sleepy enough to drop off into lala land for a nap (I mean, he cries for a while first). After a short chapter of my book and watching Sam kick a pillow repeatedly, I sit him up and hello - tons of spit up (which he doesn't do much of these days). It's running down the front of his onesie and dripping from his chin, and I get a great idea - I'll set him up against a pillow and grab a burp cloth really really fast from his room next door. I come back to a face down Sam (He reached for Dash), and now the spit up is all over the duvet in addition to the onesie and his face. Face palm. I see laundry in our future :)

Sunday Thoughts

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Well, so it's a month and a half since my last post. In my attempts to figure out balance and life as a stay at home mom, apparently blogging is one of the things that have fallen to the wayside. It's one of those things I aspire to do, but then when naptime comes, I totally forget about it. So, sorry. 

Sam is doing great, and loves to play on his own, but also loves attention and being held. He's moving around a bit, but mostly I stay nearby so when he gets frustrated with being on his belly or some awkward position, I can straighten him up. He's taking 2 to 3 naps, and while at first I get excited when he goes down, I miss him a lot. It's a kinda weird feeling. I clean some, I read books, and we like to visit others or run errands. The days always seem to go by quickly. It's a little different having J's work schedule being all over the place. Because of my desire for us to be able to hang out or do whatever with him when he's off, I haven't gotten a real schedule during the week (like grocery or library day). Usually I'm fine with that, but some days I crave the structure and routines. That's a lot of what's been going on :) We have our inside jokes and we laugh at Sam and the dogs daily (again, we aspire to getting some of these stories up on a blog). 

Our goal in September has been to having a visitor over a for dinner once a week (schedule permitting). I love the idea of making sure we nurture friendships, get in the habit for Sam as he grows, and having more witnesses to inspire me to clean. We've been doing pretty well :)

We had our 2 year anniversary last Tuesday. After some fancy egg in toasts for breakfast and some gifts for J, he let me go on a little shopping spree to pick out something to wear for our date that day. We got candy and popcorn to go to a secluded afternoon movie while my mom was kind enough to watch Sam (he loves his Mimi) and later on we cuddled and ate pizza. That's how I remember it at least. Marriage is different with a baby, but we're so happy.

Sunday related - our pastors went over Mark 13 today. What a confusing chapter for the modern readers! A lot of it is written in Jewish phrases that are tough for us to get. It was interesting. 

Okay, hopefully I'll get more regular with posting! It's always been a great creative outlet. (For Sam updates, check out JK and Company, Joey updated it recently - we'll get better :) )

  

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August already

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Sam turned 6 months yesterday! We haven't celebrated just yet but we get to go to his appointment tomorrow. 

After nearly a month of full time mommy, I went back to work for a few days to help out a coworker. Just those few days left me so thankful for the time I get to spend at home. It's still busy, and we're working on figuring out routines and habits and life, but it's been good. I can't believe how quickly the days have been flying by! We just had a good Bible study that went over laziness and how whatever we are doing, we are to be doing it heartily for the Lord. Today I've spent some time really thinking about what that will look like now that my role has changed. I don't want to judge my days based on how many things I fit in, the state of my house, how many naps were successful, but I want to challenge myself find time for prayer and quiet time, to share God's love with Sam, to share my time and resources with others, be a good wife and mom, get some inspiration from Proverbs 31 in that I share my talents with my family... well that's a start :)

2013 Books - Halfway Mark

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Burned by Sara Shepard (Pretty little liars book)

Baby 411 by Denise Fields and Dr. Ari Brown (so much info!)

The Bridge by Karen Kingsbury (a sweet story around Christmas time about second chances)

Hope: a Holy Promise by Oswald Chambers

Babywise by Gary Ezzo

The Host by Stephenie Meyer (I would recommend)

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer (refresher before watching the movie)

Pandemium by Lauren Oliver (Book 2 of 3, before the third is released. Very good)

Once Upon a Time Illustrated by Kevin Tong (kinda weird version of common fairy tales)

Sever  by Lauren DeStefano (Last book of a trilogy)

A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans (definitely learned some things. It was interesting to discover what is in the Bible and what is just tradition)

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (focused on being grateful, inspiring)

The Game of Thrones by George RR Martin

Stuck in the Middle by Virginia Smith (Fun and with some spiritual truths. Kinda what I would like to write someday)

Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel (Enjoyed)

Nursing Mother, Working Mother by Gale Pryor and Kathleen Huggins (a good book about combining those two worlds)

On Becoming Babywise: Book Two by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam

True by Hilary Duff (last of a trilogy)

Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos (a re-read)

Clash of Kings by George RR Martin 

So Long, See You Tomorrow by William Maxwell (only ok)

Organizing Your Day by Sandra Felton and Marsha Sims

The Inn at Lake Devine by Elinor Lipman (pretty good read, the start is slow, but otherwise good)

Six Years by Harlan Coben (good mystery, good summer read)

Year count: 24 so far! I don't read nearly as much since Sam has arrived, but I'm okay with that :)

Happy Father's Day weekend

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“The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”

     Jim Henson 

 

J- thank you so so much for being the father you are to our little boy. I am so excited for him to grow up with you as a role model, a leader, and when the time is right, a friend. 

Grow

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I find that being a mom has changed me. In some ways, better, and in some ways not as much. I find myself with an even shorter attention span, and trying to balance everything in my head can get me tired before I even do anything. I cry more at random commercials and stories. I'm more defensive over some topics, and more protective over my time. While my heart has certainly grown for this little boy, it's not as open as I had expected it to be. For some reason, I expected becoming "mom" meant planning and loving would become easier, because it had to be. Turns out, it's still something to work at, to pray about, to turn over to God. I'm not more capable just because I added another (albeit important) role. 

So, I'm acknowledging I need help, that I want this challenge. J is amazingly supportive, and I get to be a stay at home mom for now! For a little while, I was concerned that if I stopped working for a while, I'd be a little more boring. Then I realized that I don't actually talk about work that much anyhow. I have 8 more days of normal work days.

My life is fuller in another way, and I want to keep changing for the better, and help raise Sam to be a little better than J and me.  

Fast

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So I have my work schedule figured out for the month, and Sam is going to be loving some time with his daddy.  Lately, Sam has been enjoying having a finger or two in his mouth, feeling his gums, and has pooped in his last two baths. He keeps growing, loves trying to stand, and we are curious how his next appt will this week. Life is moving so fast!

Happy Memorial weekend

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Happy long weekend :) J is playing Ultimate and I get plenty of time with Sam! He has started babbling a little bit, and makes it even more fun to play with him.

This weekend my younger brother turns 25 and it also marks the year anniversary of his engagement to his now bride. What a sweet day!

This weekend also marks the year anniversary of when J and I bought a crib on a whim, I broke out with shingles, but thought it was poison ivy, and then we found out we were actually pregnant with Sam!

Niche

 

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This week I started back a few half days at work. It was good to see my manager and other co-workers and catch up a bit. I left Sam with J both days, and I knew he was with someone who loves him and that I wouldn't be gone too long. While it felt good to be productive and know I was giving back to a company that given me to me, I know I definitely love being home, taking care of Sam, and seeing J on the random off days that he's not working. We'll see what happens :) Regardless I'm thankful for the support I have from my husband and coworkers and am just praying for clarity. I expect to feel some sort of guilt regardless of what we choose, but I know I want to be where God wants me, what's best for our family, and hope to feel peace.

Family weekend

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Happy Wednesday :) Today feels like the weekend because it's J's first day off. We have had a fantastic week so far! After time with friends and a craft night, we had a packed weekend with my family. My younger brother and his sweet wife came in town for a visit. We had a great brunch, watched the Derby (we had picked OverAnalyze and Charming Kitten to win), a game night, church (another successful nursery visit for Sam), Cinco de Mayo fish taco lunch, family videos, and best of all - nephew #2 was born! Isaac Wayne came on Monday at 2:56am :) The CDC actually knows of our little boys, and dubbed them "the Three Amigos." The third has joined us! We are so excited to get them all to meet. 

My older brother's birthday was yesterday (a milestone), and we got to celebrate that as well. Fun family times!

How to be Happy

 

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 Honestly, think I'm doing pretty good with this list. Basically, make the most of each day, and remember that joy is not dependent on circumstances.