You found love

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Broken though I am,
and battered though I may be,
you found love, in me.

Tyler Knott Gregson

We had a great weekend - even though NC State lost, it was fun to attend such a high scoring game! It had been a long time since I had been to a game (and Baby C's first!), and I had a lot of memories of college that day. It was fun to share with J :)  We also got to go to church together, get some organizing done, had reading time, carved a pumpkin, received our rocker, and well, I enjoyed it. I noticed I've already tried to start thinking more like "mom." I've starting asking questions like what if it's cold? what if it rains? do we have snacks? and tried to pack "just in case." I'm sure a lot of my learning will be trial and error. 

Work will be really busy this week, J is doing nights, so I won't see him much, but we had a great date night last night :) and I get to do some fun things in the evening this week. We are so blessed!

Halloweekend

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I'm so heavily looking forward to a weekend! I feel like I need time to just stop having to think. When I don't feel well or I'm tired or thinking, sometimes I just look really serious. I can tell it's one of those days. I felt bad when a girl at work felt the need to explain her joke because she thought she offended me. Sometimes smiling is hard, you know? (okay normally it's not really for me). 

I was encouraged by this post asking for honesty. One of my "people" moved 2 hours away, and I don't see her as much. Another one is on maternity leave and stays really busy traveling (she's a superwoman though, man). J is amazing and knows a crazy amount of thoughts that go through my head. We have a wonderful Father who wants us to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with him. But outside of that, I'm guarded at least a little, even if I don't want to be. 

On any given day, now a days, I can feel
*huge
*small
*exhausted
*energized
*anxious
*relaxed
*pretty
*disgusting
*weepy
*carefree
and I expect it to continue for the next 3 months. God is carrying us through every life stage. From childhood through adulthood and beyond.
Unrelated, this weekend we get to go to football game, take it easy, be productive, and carve pumpkins. Yay!

"Don’t stop enjoying the beauty of life and sharing it with others.  There is much to be grateful for and your highlights might just be the inspiration someone needs to find joy this day.

But also remember that under the happy faces and styled spaces lives a messy person. Someone who is flawed and struggles and tries her best to cover it all up with appearances. Rather than fall into that trap, let’s start being honest with each other.

The general public doesn’t need to know your innermost struggles. But your people do. You know, the ones you trust. The ones you can talk to and be open with.

Let’s not walk around pretending to be pretty and making assumptions about other people’s pretty lives.

Instead, let’s give grace and accept one another – however messy we are."

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” Ephesians 4:2

 

Irish man

 

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So the coworker that's kind of in the same role with me is out for gall bladder surgery (we haven't heard from her so hopefully she's okay!!) so work is busy and time consuming, and leaves me pooped in the evenings. Meanwhile, J is amazing as per usual, and provides me food (nourishing, but also a milkshake :) ), and encourages me to take it easy, take a bath, read, or do the puzzle app on the iphone. I love coming home to him, and so appreciate all he manages to get done at home (errands). So, inspired my by hubby:


So what makes a true Irish-man? :
   Humorous, kind-hearted, friendly
   Talkative and always up for a debate
   Insightful and philosophical about life and love (true romantic)
   Lively around groups of friends or strangers
   Competitive in sport
   Helpful, open, GOOD COMPANY 

*sidenote: Please read in a very thankful, grateful tone (no bragging at all since I know nearly all husbands are dream men and perfect for the woman they are with).
 

Happy Monday

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"The more we stand in awe of God, 

the less we’ll stand in judgment of each other.”  

Bob Goff

Awesome things

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My mood has been high lately, which I largely credit to hormones and Bible study, but really, life has just been good lately! Especially if you focus on the ups. Here are some awesome things that have been happening:

- Brother and future sister-in-love have picked their wedding venue! 

- My maid of honor, who got engaged recently, has picked Castle Ladyhawke (it looks so beautiful!) as their destination wedding venue, and we can now count down to September 7, 2013

- Having our nursery dresser put together, the curtain up, and the room layout mostly finalized is so exciting. I walk in and just smile. 

- We went to the state fair on Monday night. Although it rained, we really enjoy spending time with the other couple that went with us, we got to see the animals, pumpkins, people watch, and try crazy food. 

- We made a stromboli last night - it went really well, although a little juicy, and the leftovers today were fantastic

- I have a craft night to look forward to, as well as seeing this busy lady, who is between trips right now

- Bible study was great this last week. We talked about freedom from bitterness, only finished half the lesson, and went later than we maybe ever have.
- We got the dogs cut (shaved) last week. Although Sully was mopey for a few days, they've gotten enough growth in that they are really cute this week. And Dash has learned to roll over! (Kudos to J) You just have to tap him on his shoulder to get him to go.  

- Tomorrow we are heading out to spend the weekend with J's family. We're celebrating his mom's birthday, and hopefully just having a lot of down time together.

- Looking forward to having my brother-in-love's mother in town, starting next Thursday. She's a really neat person and she's been trying to make up here for a while. 

- Although work is busy, I feel like I've found a happy place this week. My coworker is getting her gallbladder out next Thursday (Thursday is a good day!), and I'm so thankful it's getting taken care of, I can hardly think about having to "do it all" for a few days. 

Honestly, there's probably more. I'm really trying to enjoy the little things, and be in the moment :) God is good, all the time!

Fresh Start Monday

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This is a learning time for me. In the car on Saturday, I was reading in Real Simple about qualities that people like and respect in leaders (inspired by the upcoming election). I couldn't help but try to think of what of those qualities J had. I love having him lead our marriage and I'm excited that in a few short months, he'll be my labor coach. I also couldn't help but think of our future son, how he will be the head of a household someday. How can we inspire those good qualities? I'm so excited but nervous to think about it. One of the devotionals I read this weekend talked about fruit. But really, it was about not watching fruit. While we can often see where our heart is with what fruit is produced, it shouldn't be what we watch, what we try to increase, or what we measure others by. It's of the Father's concern what fruit we produce. It's our job to watch (keep our eyes on) the branch and let the Gardner prune when he needs. We had a great sermon on Sunday, reminding us of how detailed our God is. Our pastor also challenged us to remember that our lives are not split between spiritual decisions and secular decisions, it's all spiritual. 

I want to have an open heart to allow for the renewal of my mind, and for all that I learn to sink in. It's so neat how we all learn different things, at different times, in different ways. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
-Colossians 3:17 esv 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is.
-Romans 12:2 esv 

Fall weekend

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This week flew by - we had a great Bible study (on freedom from others' approval), I had a great coffee date with fellow blogger Elizabeth of best.day.ever., (I really enjoyed her honesty, talking about babies and churches, and would love to see her mister some day), family dinner with fall food (pork tenderloin, grits, mushrooms, baked apples, and an apple cake, so good!), and busy days at work.

I'm working on a lot of heart matters, reading about how to be a good pregnant lady, starting books on how to be a good parent, and trying to enjoy where we're at! J and I are having a date night tonight :), a quick trip to Ikea Saturday morning, and meeting his parents for lunch. I have a whole page of prayer requests and I'm so thankful we have a God who wants us to talk to him. Have a great weekend!

Rested

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After a great double date night with my sister on Friday, I had a very quiet, restful productive weekend, full of naps, baths, long walks, reading, some cleaning, some cooking, and cozy evenings with J, after his work days. I think it was just what I needed :) 

23

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Last night, J and I went out on a fancy date. Fancy = perfume and heels, plus at least J will feel a little out of place.  We got the opportunity to use a gift certificate that was given to my in-laws for our rehearsal night. We went back to Caffe Luna and even sat at the same table that we had sat to preview the restaurant before settling on it for our rehearsal dinner (I think my in-laws had already decided, but I like to think our opinion mattered too). So we ate great food and J made me lose control laughing, and we watched other people make slightly snooty people gestures. It was clear that the manager missed getting the chance to see my father in law, and I look forward to being able to better thank them for letting us go in their place, as well as share a few stories.

In making our reservations, we (I) had decided that we were celebrating 23. 23 weeks of pregnancy, 23 of January was our first date, 23 of September was when my friend just got engaged, 23 of October is my sister and brother in laws anniversary. It can be fun to celebrate the little things. 

 

Confession

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So, I want to be honest. I stressed myself out. I don't normally handle unresolved issues very well. I've called J at work for relatively small things that I was focused on. I remember making one boyfriend sit at the top of a mountain while he was snowboarding because I had some issue that was just that pressing. Add pregnant, hormonal, depressed to that, and well, I stressed. I gave myself a migraine on Monday night, complete with aura. Which, I couldn't medicate much for, because I'm pregnant. Monday night I laid in bed for hours, talking quietly with my husband, crying every now and then, at it was actually really cool. We never would have done that without that migraine. It hit me how much I needed to deal with this, and by deal with this, I really mean, let God deal with this. I'm happy, I'm confused, I'm hurt, I'm weepy, all at once. And it stayed that way, for well, a while. Yesterday though, I was done, I wanted to release everything to the I Am who can do it all. 

I woke up with a renewed will to make the most of each day. I went to work for a half day, planning to come home, shut all the blinds real tight, and live like a bat for a little (which I did), but I also go the opportunity to try to resolve one of those unresolved issued. Or start to. I painted my nails navy. I played with our two furry boys. I baked apples with brown sugar and cinnamon, and soaked up a few hours with my husband. We bought wedding magazines to share with my newly engaged friend, whose smile and ring were such a blessing to see. (I also bought a pregnancy test for another friend, and felt the need to let the clerk know that I know I'm pregnant already). And the Bible Study book I voted for (that we ended up going with), I had really intended to be great for some of the girls for busyness. It's about freedom. You bet it's been speaking to me - just one of those Amazing God moments. 

So basically, life has been.. interesting. But it can be good that way, and right now I like the direction it's going. Every day is a gift, every day is beautiful, and every day we can be renewed.

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September Books

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Your Pregnancy & Birth by The American College of Obs and Gyns (Enjoyed. It had was educational but understandable. Recommend)
John's Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress retold by Gary D. Schmidt and illustrated by Bary Moser (I really enjoyed this version!)
When the Belly Button Pops, the Baby's Done by Lorilee Craker (This is the first pregnancy book I started reading, it's a bit more of a girl to girl telling, with humor and Christian perspective mixed in. Recommend)
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (took me a while to get into it - I didn't love any of the characters, but I couldn't put it down for the last half)
Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (not as instructional as her other one, but still inspiring)
The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom (easy to read and good, definitely recommend)

6 books this month, 67 for the year

October

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So so thankful J made it home safely and will be here for a while. Unfortunately his team will not be going on to Nationals, but silver lining, I'll have him home and not working for a good while in October. Looking forward to seeing the best friend on Tuesday- fresh from a trip to Disney, and Bible Study, making home a little cozier for fall, and setting up dinners with friends. Happy October!!

This week's memory verse:

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

-Ephesians 4:22-24 (ESV)