So, I want to be honest. I stressed myself out. I don't normally handle unresolved issues very well. I've called J at work for relatively small things that I was focused on. I remember making one boyfriend sit at the top of a mountain while he was snowboarding because I had some issue that was just that pressing. Add pregnant, hormonal, depressed to that, and well, I stressed. I gave myself a migraine on Monday night, complete with aura. Which, I couldn't medicate much for, because I'm pregnant. Monday night I laid in bed for hours, talking quietly with my husband, crying every now and then, at it was actually really cool. We never would have done that without that migraine. It hit me how much I needed to deal with this, and by deal with this, I really mean, let God deal with this. I'm happy, I'm confused, I'm hurt, I'm weepy, all at once. And it stayed that way, for well, a while. Yesterday though, I was done, I wanted to release everything to the I Am who can do it all.
I woke up with a renewed will to make the most of each day. I went to work for a half day, planning to come home, shut all the blinds real tight, and live like a bat for a little (which I did), but I also go the opportunity to try to resolve one of those unresolved issued. Or start to. I painted my nails navy. I played with our two furry boys. I baked apples with brown sugar and cinnamon, and soaked up a few hours with my husband. We bought wedding magazines to share with my newly engaged friend, whose smile and ring were such a blessing to see. (I also bought a pregnancy test for another friend, and felt the need to let the clerk know that I know I'm pregnant already). And the Bible Study book I voted for (that we ended up going with), I had really intended to be great for some of the girls for busyness. It's about freedom. You bet it's been speaking to me - just one of those Amazing God moments.
So basically, life has been.. interesting. But it can be good that way, and right now I like the direction it's going. Every day is a gift, every day is beautiful, and every day we can be renewed.